Scripture to Overcome Codependency and Trust God

Have you ever, with the best intentions, tried to control outcomes? Have you tried to help the people you love by managing their responsibilities? Do you manipulate situations to provide an answer or fix a problem? 

There is a term for this behavior: codependency. You’ve probably never associated yourself with this word. I know I never did. But let’s not get hung up on semantics. Simply put, God is our source of life, health, and all things good.

When we take control or go to people or things to tell us what to do or who we are, we will never have peace.

If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions and are struggling with the relationships and situations you currently find yourself in, I encourage you to lean into these truths in Scripture. I pray the Lord will use one of them to speak to your heart.

As you pray, write, or seek verses like these; imagine what your life would look like if you actually lived this way from your heart.

Here are 11 areas where scripture provides freedom and invites you to trust God:

1. Be courageous and trust God with everything.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

2. Believe deep down in the center of your heart that God is good; that He sees you and is intimately aware of everything you am going through.

O Lord, you have searched me and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all of my ways. – Psalms 139:1-3

Taste and see that the Lord is good. – Psalm 34:8

3. Believe that when you call on God, He not only hears your prayer, but is acting on your behalf.

 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28

If God is for us, who can ever be against us – Romans 8:31

4. Look to God more and others less; judge others less and let God deal with you more.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. – Hebrews 12:2

Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. – Hebrews 12:14-15

5. Trust that He is just, and working on my behalf no matter what anyone else is doing. Let Him defend you and worship Him in the battle.

For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you – Chronicles 20:12

This is what the Lord says to you; ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. – Chronicles 20:15

I will extol the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. – Psalms 34:1-5

6. Believe that your Heavenly Father loves “your people” even more than you do. Respect those closest to you enough to let them choose for themselves. Respect them like He does.

There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘father, give me my share of the estate’. So he divided his property between them. – Luke 15:11-12

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

7. Love them and let God fix them.

Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. – John 13:34

We ask God to give you complete knowledge of His will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. – Colossians 1:9-10 (NLT)

8. Trust your marriage, your children and their futures, your finances, your ministry, and your day to the Lord.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. – Proverbs 3:5(NLT)

Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. – Matthew 6:33

9. Understand that you have a choice: that while God has a future and a hope for you, you still have to do something. Stop waiting and start believing.

We live by faith, not by sight. – 2 Corinthians 5:7

You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. – James 2:22

10. Choose to be done living from your own strength – stop letting your own perspective and understanding be the center of everything.

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel; ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. – Zechariah 4:6

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2

11. Believe that Christ is your source: stop needing approval from people and look to Him to tell you who you are.

And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you. – Romans 8:11

Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. – Ephesians 2:9-10

Sometimes the best thing we can do is let God be God.

We all at one time or another go to people or things to meet needs that were only intended to be met by our Heavenly Father.

Deep inside each of us is a place reserved specifically for God. It’s a Holy place where He dwells by His Spirit, and Scripture is clear, He doesn’t want anyone or anything in that sacred place along with Him.

Jesus is The Answer and He wants us to look to Him to meet our needs first. His desire is for each of us to depend on Him individually. Sometimes the best thing we can do is get out of the way, so God can be God. Not only in our lives, but also the lives of the people we love.

We can be tempted to look to the vocations we have or talents we use, to tell us who we are, but our identity, love and affirmation should come from Him first.

What would your life look like if today, right now, if you held your hands wide open and said,

“I surrender.”

“Have your way Lord Jesus.”

“I trust You with it all.”

What if?


cover of the book by Teri Miller, Death of a Church LadyTeri Miller is a writer, speaker/teacher and counselor in training.  She is passionate about helping others find healing and freedom in Jesus. She is the author of Death of a Church Lady, Confessions of Hurt, Healing & Freedom. She is the mother of three amazing children, and resides in Michigan with her handsome hubby of 30+ years.  For more information regarding Teri’s book, ministry or to contact her, visit https://terimillerministries.com/

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fcscafeine

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